What we perceive represents reality to us. We might feel at ease with our disposition and if the wheels come off the cart despite this, we may blame others as we cannot recognize the part we play. Maybe it is painful to acknowledge our own negative involvement – we prefer not to look into the proverbial mirror and see the need for transformation.
Frustration and other consequences of problematic communication influence us and the reaction when our space is invaded and we are attacked is indicative of our mind-set. Maybe with change we gain a certain degree of understanding and compassion, if not, our negative perceptions can give rise to resentment and anger.
Although we would not purposely harm ourselves when problematic behaviour of others distresses us, it is nevertheless like giving the consent to be hurt. If we are unable to filter attacks or reprimands appropriately, attach undeserved significance where none is necessary and allow this to throw us off guard, we are likely to respond aggressively, or we are dismayed. In both cases we add to the pain and feel rejected.
When acting in a defensive way, it may indicate that we are vulnerable to the emotions and complexities of others. Maybe painful memories cause this and the ‘opponent’, no doubt, has his own reasons for his negative behaviour. Emotionally responding to altercations that lack reason constitutes the equivalent of inviting injury. Less stressful emotional involvement and more mindfulness may allow us to avoid harmful scenarios and hurt.
A Pilgrim’s Rhyme
Maybe it is like hearing a sound
An organ playing with great abound.
Registers pulled, great sounds arising,
Powerful, mighty, really surprising,
And then when almost hard to bear
The organs’ soft, sweet tones are there.
Inspiring sounds make us reflect,
Mind and spirit can re-connect.
It is through this that we reach our goal:
Restraints are freed – as is the soul.
If we cannot find total perfection,
Our gain should still be better perception.
It is this we need to maintain
So that we feel joy and not the pain.
To perceive the way we need to walk,
To know the value of honest talk,
To feel the truth in yourself and others
Will give peace of mind to you and your brothers.